Welcome to the Lake Tahoe Spiritual Living Center!

Another tragedy has occurred. All around the world, people are experiencing anger and sorrow and confusion, all normal reactions to a tragedy.

And from my brethren in Centers all around the country come the beautiful loving responses.

From Rev. Jeff Anderson, CSL Healdsburg, a call to express love, because love is all there is.

From Rev. Petra Weldes, CSL Dallas, a call to choose personal responsibility and unity.

From Rev. David Alexander, New Thought Center for Spiritual Living, a call to prayer, compassion and empathy.

And so today, here in Lake Tahoe, I call to you, dear reader. I call for you to remember that there are only two states of being: love and fear. I call for you to remember in your grief and dismay to take the time to stop….and breathe….and go to that place where you can always find Love….and then in that place, ask for the appropriate response, and then listen.

Is the response to assign blame, or perhaps might it be ask yourself where you can take personal responsibility? Maybe you can send a donation to an organization in Newton Connecticut that is helping with grief counseling. Maybe you can volunteer here, in Lake Tahoe, at an organization working to prevent violence. Maybe you can stop the violence in your own heart by asking for help if you need it.

Is the response to create separation between you and your fellow human beings by judging and assigning labels, or can you perhaps find a way to unify yourself with every human being you encounter today? Maybe you can stop judging others and love everyone, even the person who dresses differently than you. Even the person who believes differently than you. Maybe you can try and love without conditions. After all, that’s what God does. Maybe you can live as the child of God that you are, knowing that you are part of a whole, and that what you think and express DOES affect that whole.

And maybe you can retreat to your own personal prayerful space get to that place where you can be, do, and know empathy and compassion….for yourself and for every other human being.

Love is truly all there is. Go there now. Feel it, be it. Then come out and do it.

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Aspen trees are not singular trees, but part of a large community of trees all descended from the same root system.  However, each tree is unique, and changes colors at it’s own pace, in it’s own time, and may change to a different color than it’s neighbor.

We can learn much from the aspen tree:  We are all part of the same human family, yet free to express our own uniqueness in our own way and at our own pace.   The aspen trees don’t judge each other for being different, nor should we.

Today, take a lesson from the aspen trees:  know yourself and freely allow yourself to express in your own way and time, and do not judge others for doing the same.

I saw a post on Facebook the other day.  It created what turned out to be an avalanche of feelings in me:  joy, gratitude, sadness and no small amount of grief.   Here’s the photo:

I first experienced joy because I realized what I was seeing was the advancement of women, that the President’s wife could dress appropriately for traveling and not have to be a Barbie doll to please the populace.  And that is where the gratitude came from as well, gratitude that today, as a woman, I can dress as I please, go where I wish, vote and pretty much do what I want, within the boundaries of the law.  Then I read the comments underneath the photo.  And here is where the sadness and grief came:  not one of the women who commented praised the President’s wife for dressing as the rest of do when traveling.  They all judged her:  they said she didn’t care, that she lacked self respect, and that she was setting a very bad example for young women in this country.

Really?

Oh dear.

I know that it’s an election year.  I also know that this election in particular is characterized by tremendous polarization.  Is it just me, or have the personal attacks and lies and propaganda, from all parties, descended to an all new low?

As a licensed spiritual coach and a ministerial student, I am trained to see the good in everyone and everything.  I do not approach a situation, or a client, or anything else, with a diagnosis of there being something wrong.  I approach it (or at least that is what I strive for) seeing the good, and if I can’t see the good, I first go within and see what within me is preventing me from seeing the good, and then I do my spiritual work to see the good in myself and in others.  I also  know that fear makes people judgmental, and it makes them do and say things they wouldn’t ordinarily do or say.  And I know that there is a lot of fear floating around the consciousness of the populace these days.  So in my spiritual practices I address my own fear, and then do my work  for the fearfulness of society.

So, in the case of Michelle Obama “dressing down” for an airplane flight, I say good for her.  For the people judging her because of the way she dressed for an airplane flight, they are included in my daily spiritual practices.

What does this have to do with spirituality, which is the subject of this blog?  Everything.  Fear keeps us lonely and bereft of the gifts that a connection with Spirit brings, it severs the connection, or prevents it from being formed.  Fear is the giant boogeyman of all things spiritual.  Judgment of another person by what they wear, or the color of their skin, or their gender, or even their sexual preference, is fear based.  All judgment is fear based.  When we judge another, we are saying we are afraid.  Perhaps another person’s sexual preference is somehow threatening to us, or perhaps judging someone else for what they are wearing makes us feel better about ourselves.  Or perhaps judgment allows us to somehow feel secure. I don’t know.  What I do know is that when I negatively judge another, I am the one who feels the pain from that judgement.

These days I am striving for no judgement at all, neither good nor bad.  It simply is.  Like the farmer, whose son brought home horses, broke his leg riding the horses, then didn’t get drafted because he had a broken leg, the farmer, through it all, refused to judge any of those happenings as good or bad, they simply were.

I feel better when I don’t judge.  How about you?

I’m going to break with the short daily meditation blog/photo theme for today, as I want to write about something else!   If you want a short meditative reading, consider this:  the things that happened to you in  your past are what got you to where you are today.  If you like where you are today, then acknowledge some gratitude for those past situations, as you would not be here now if you had not gone there before.  And if you don’t like where you are today, give me a call!  We can work together to get you to a place of peace.

So!  June 6 is a pretty big day for me.  My birthday and other anniversaries are in November, but June 6 lined up to be a biggie.  On June 6 of 1996 my divorce was final.  This was a devasting thing to me which threw me into a pit of depression for quite a long time.  Getting divorced was not my choice at the time, nor my desire, and my ex sprung his wishes on me very suddenly with no warning.   Today, after the anger, the depression and all the other nasty stuff has passed, I can tell you that I consider what my ex did, in divorcing me, a big favor.  Not because I am or was glad to have him out of my life.  No, it’s for a much different reason.  Now I know why he did what he did, he had a path that did not include me.  It was a path of destruction, and he did not want to take me with him.  I thank him for that, even though he has made his transition, I know he hears me.  We were friends again before he died.

Also on June 6, that same year, I closed escrow on the home I live in now.  It is the first piece of property I’ve ever owned.  Although my ex and I bought and sold a couple of houses during our marriage, I always  knew that if I could not make my half of the bills on any given month, he would.  He never had to, by the way, I always paid my fair share.  But it’s a bit different when you live alone, you’ve never owned a home before, and don’t have a honey to do the honey dos.  My  house was built in 1947, there are a lot of honey dos around here.  I’m grateful for the minor carpenter skills I’ve learned, and also grateful for the skilled handymen I’ve found and hired to do the jobs I cannot handle.  This home has taught me much.  I found and purchased this house in the midst of a certain type of hysteria caused by an impending divorce.  I had no money for a down as I was not expecting to have to move out and buy my own house, nor was I prepared in any way for home ownership.  I just  knew this was the place for me and went for it.  Later, when I recieved the final divorce papers, I discovered what day my divorce had been finalized.  Something good, something bad, or was it?  Is judgement really worth our time and effort?

And last but not least, my mother died on June 6, two years later.  She and I had reconciled all our differences by the time she died, and I was grateful to have had the opportunity to help with care giver duties at the end.  I was a good daughter, and I loved her.  Although I grieved her death, I was also relieved when she died, as I knew that she was out of pain.

June 6 would have come and gone yesterday without me even remembering the significance of the date.  But, I went to write a check yesterday morning and asked someone what the date was, and it clicked into place when I recieved my reply.

My point of all this, for you, dear reader, is that the things that happen in our lives don’t have to continue to tramatize us year after year after year.  We can take what we learned from them, and let them go gently into the Universe, into the loving arms of a Spirit that knows what to do with such things.  And we can go to that part of Spirit that is within us and be still….and know.  We can know that our Soul is part of Spirit, and that our Soul always has, and always will, guide us to where we need to be to experience what we need to experience.

So listen to your Soul today, and every day, and thank it for it’s wisdom in bringing you to where you are today.

The other day I was having a conversation with someone who is having a difficult time in life right now.  The situation is irrelevant for our discussion today, it could be anything.  The key is what he said about his troubles:

“I guess God just wants me to have a difficult time right now.”

My heart went out to this man who had such a definition of God that he would think that God would want him to have a difficult time.

I wanted to tell him that God definately did not want him to have a difficult time.  Not only that, I wanted to tell him that God could be a Source of great Power and Energy to him, as well as comfort.  I wanted to tell him that it wasn’t God that was wanting this time for him, it was his own soul calling out for a change in his life, that when the dust settled he would be grateful for the lessons he had learned, and grateful for the way his life was.

If you have a definition of a God who would want things for you, who gives or takes away things in your life based on a system of judgement, and if you get peace and happiness from that definition of God, then you need read no further.

But if this definition of God isn’t working for you, I have a suggestion:  change your definition of God.  It is only organized religion that tells us we can’t be empowered, we don’t have choice or free will, we are subject to judgement.

That is not the sort of God I have in my life.  I am empowered, I am at choice every minute of every day, and the only person around here who does any judgement that matters is my judgement of myself. 

Instead, my God is a part of me and  I am a part of it.  We are a part of each other, and I am a part of the One. 

Which means that God wants for me what I want for me.  My task, then, becomes twofold:  first and foremost is to remember that I am a part of God by doing my daily spiritual practices.   To deepen and strengthen that connection.  And secondly, to do my daily spiritual practices so that I am also in touch with my own feelings and motives, so that I can make intelligent decisions as to what I want. 

When I make that connection, when I go within on a regular basis and commune with that Source, I am all powerful, and not only does what I want become a reality, but peace and happiness reign in my world, no matter what is happening outside of me.

The point of my post today is this:  find a definition of God that works for you, something that provides you with a sense of peace and power.  And if you need help with that, call me.  That’s what my license as a Practitioner trained me to do.

I wish you peace today.  I wish you freedom from judgement and from the false sense of a separate God that would want things for you that do not want.  I wish you a co-mingling with Spirit that brings you great joy!

Some of you are aware that I have applied for, and been accepted, to a course of training.  It’s a Master’s Degree program in Consciousness Studies; I’ll be attending distance classes through the Santa Rosa campus of the Holmes Institute.  When I’m done, they will be calling me minister, but it’s  not the title I’m going for, it’s the learning, the digging deeper to go higher.

The process of applying has been rather grueling.   They wanted everything except my first born child.  Good thing, because I don’t have any children!  They did an extensive background check.  They wanted my college transcripts.  That was a journey down memory lane for me, I can tell you!  They wanted a credit report, an autobiography.  I have had one interview with the Dean that was…um…let’s just say, interesting.  And I am going before a panel of three ministers in a couple of weeks and taking a personality test.  And, last but not least, they wanted three references.

How does this all pertain to judgement?  I’m feeling judged.  It was the references that made something click in for me.  I was doing my meditation this morning and all of a sudden a thought flew in like the proverbial light bulb:  on those reference sheets they are asking another person to judge me! 

Now I ask you, what does judgement have to do with a program in higher consciousness?  We are told all the time not to judge.  Judging indicates to me that I have work to do.  When I am judging someone else, most likely I am turning outward something that’s going on within me that I need to look at.  Judgement hurts me, not the person I am judging.  Higher consciousness means I don’t judge others because it is counterproductive to peace.

Yet, when I am screening a new employee, I ask for references.  I judge the new employee for things like work ethic, honesty, people skills, the ability to show up on time.  When I start a new relationship, the beginning is filled with sort of a gathering of information process.  Basically, I judge until I’ve gathered enough information to progress in the relationship, or to not progress.  Historically, I did not always do that, and I can tell you that is not the road to healthy relationships!  But, I digress.

It seems we need a certain amount of investigation to determine whether a person is the right person for the job, the right person for the relationship.  And I can understand why a school who turns out dozens of ministers on a regular basis would want to check them out thoroughly.  After all, ministers are generally seen by society as leaders, and we want our leaders to have it all together.

But I’m still feeling judged.  And I don’t like it.  I think it was the question about my dress on the reference sheet that finally was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

I’m a practical sort of girl.  I dress for the job, not for appearances.  I have a healthy self esteem, I don’t dress badly, I just don’t sacrifice comfort for looks.  I spend a lot of time on my feet, so I wear shoes that protect my feet.  They (the shoes, not my feet) aren’t the best looking, but my feet are healthy.  When I am working as a photographer, I need pockets, lots of pockets.  And I consider myself an artist, so I’m not going to go the penguin routine and wear black and white, I wear colors.  When I teach a class as a Practitioner, if it’s cold outside, I’m going to bundle up in layers.  When I go to a celebration service, if I’m going horse back riding afterwards, which is quite frequently the case, I’m going to wear my riding clothes to the Center!   I don’t happen to think that what I am wearing is an indicator of respect.  I’ve never understood the practice of dressing up for church. 

And yet, in my job as owner of a photography studio, I’ve studied a lot of sales techniques, and the pundits all say that if I wear a dark blue suit when I do a sales presentation, my sales will be higher.  I’ve tested it, it’s true!

I do not believe that we should judge people based on what they wear.  Period.  Yet we do it all the time.  I have to admit to judgement in that area myself:  when I see a guy with long hair, I automatically think he needs to grow up and get a hair cut.  What’s up with that?

So I know the weaknesses of us humans.  I guess I just had to vent a little.  This entire process of applying to a school of higher learning has been a bit much.  I wonder if all of it has been entirely necessary.  I’m along for the ride, and I will jump through all the hoops and see where it takes me. 

But I’m not going to stop wearing jeans.

The web is full of calls to honor ourselves.  Entire coaching businesses are dedicated to the subject!  It is important to honor ourselves, so how, exactly, do we do that?

I have a question that I quite frequently ask my clients:  “Would you allow anyone else to speak to you the way you speak to yourself?”  If you allow others to verbally abuse you, there is a bit more work to be done than I will be covering here, but if you commonly berate yourself as a part of daily living, you are not honoring yourself.

Why? 

Most times we don’t honor  ourselves because we don’t much like or appreciate ourselves.  Our self esteem is lower than a snake’s belly in a dry river bed.  That’s low. 

If  you commonly call yourself  names, or say things like, “I can’t do that.” or “I’m not worth it.” or “I didn’t speak up because…” then  you might want to take a look at your self esteem.  If you commonly don’t have good things coming to you in life, you might want to take a look at your opinion of yourself, because others will only value you as much as you value you.  If you seem to have trouble in relationships, you might want to take a look at how healthy the relationship with yourself is.

As with all things in life, it all starts within.  We all want to be happy, to do fulfilling work, and to have good relationships.  Those are all results of the work that we do within ourselves.  You might be feeling like that snake about now, but it doesn’t always have to be that way. 

Next time you catch yourself saying something bad to yourself (or about another person, for that matter, because judgement is simply low self esteem turned outward), stop and see if perhaps you can replace that talk with something more positive.  Just try it.

And in your daily spiritual practices, start playing around with finding the good parts of you.  Start investigating how you might turn the liabilities into assets.  Look at all the parts of you, and replace the things that aren’t working with things that are.  Do not condemn, judge, belittle, pity, or shame yourself in any way.  Simply let go or replace that which no longer works for you.

Need help?  Call me.  We can work together to get that self esteem elevated, and we can do it in a reasonable amount of time.

The other day someone asked me about judgement.  Seems she had just come to the realization that she was judging a lot and was feeling uncomfortable about it. 

There is a reason why much of the great spiritual literature cautions us against judging, it really is quite harmful, both to ourselves and to others.

If you find yourself in judgement, you can stay there for as long as you like.  Judgement temporarily might make you feel better about yourself.  But judgement has a tendency to bite back, sooner or later it will turn around and cause you to feel unpleasant things like separation and feelings of low self esteem.  In order to feel better you might judge some more, creating a viscious cycle of judging/feeling bad/judging/feeling bad.  

Judgement is a sign.  A very large and obvious sign, actually.  Whenever you find yourself judging, it is almost certain that the very thing you are judging others for is something you are doing yourself, but don’t want to acknowledge!  

When you find yourself in judgement, the best way to deal with that is to go within and take a look at your own behavior.  I have discovered that usually whatever it is I am judging others for, I’ve got the same behavior going on within me, don’t much appreciate it, but don’t want to look at it. 

I have years of experience of going within and exploring there and changing what is limiting me, but I can understand how that might not be a pleasant prospect for someone who is new at it.  And, if you are new at it, you don’t really know the trail and you might need a guide.   But if you are judging, there’s something going on that wants your attention.  Get some help and guidance to go within, I think you will find that there is some good stuff there, and you can accomplish a lot!

Today in the magazine the meditation talks about judgement.  It points out, rightfully so, that Spirit is EVERYWHERE, even in places and people that we consider to be…well, you can put whatever label you want on it.

While we can sit here and acknowledge that Spirit is everywhere, and that everyone embodies Spirit, I prefer to bring it home a bit and put a more practical spin on it.

Simply put, when I judge, it hurts me.  To elaborate a bit:  when I am judging, it is evidence that there is something going on within me that I am not particularly happy about.  I also don’t wish to look at it, so I turn my feelings outward, into judgement of others.  I’m judging myself really, but not wanting to go there, so it turns into judgement of others.  Wouldn’t it be easier to simply not judge at all?  Wouldn’t it be easier to acknowledge that a behavior that used to work no longer works and needs to be changed?  Wouldn’t it be gentler to recognize that a belief that used to be sufficient no longer is, and to work towards change?  Wouldn’t it be nice to have a chat with oneself and say, lovingly, “yes, that used to be OK. It used to work fine, but we’ve grown, and it doesn’t work any more, so now we are going to lovingly release that, and lovingly turn to something new.”?

No judgement of self, no judgement of others, simply an acknowledgement that Spirit is indeed everywhere and, like all other aspects of Spirit, changes happen.

Another point I wish to make about judgement:  when you judge others, not only are you hurting yourself, but remember:  the person on the receiving end of your judgement really doesn’t know or care much about your opinion!  They move along through life, enjoying themselves, doing what they need to do, oblivious to your scorn.  It is hurting only you.

The next time you find yourself in judgement, go within.  Go to that place within where you and Spirit reside together, and know your truth.  Discover your truth.  Make the changes necessary for you; get help if you need it.  But don’t judge yourself, and don’t judge others.

Today’s meditation in Science of Mind magazine has a very good story that I’ve heard before, and you may have too, but I am going to repeat it here because it really illustrates quite well that judgement of the happenings in our lives is really not a wise thing to do.

There is a Chinese story of a farmer who used an old horse to till his fields.  One day, the horse escaped into the hills, and when the farmer’s neighbors sympathized with the old man over his bad luck, the farmer replied, “Bad luck? Good luck?  Who knows?”

A week later, the horse returned with a herd of horses from the hills and this time the neighbors congratulated the farmer on his good luck.  His reply was, “Bad luck? Good luck?  Who knows?”  Then, when the farmer’s son was attempting to tame one of the wild horses, he fell off and broke his leg.  Everyone thought this to be very bad luck.  The farmer’s only reaction was, “Bad luck? Good luck?  Who knows?”  Some weeks later, the army marched into the village and enlisted every able-bodied youth they found there.  When they saw the farmer’s son with his broken leg, they let him stay.  Now, was that good luck or bad luck?  Who knows?

I’ve heard versions of this story where it goes on and on, one event leading to another.  The farmer always refuses to judge whether it is bad luck or good luck.  His lesson is this….don’t judge what is happening in your life.  Simply know that whatever it is, it is the right thing for you, at the right time.

Can you think of a time in your life when you judged an event as bad, and now, looking back in hindsight, realize it was the best thing in the world to have happened?  Now, think about this:  if you had, at the time, refused to judge the event as bad, how much easier would it have been to cope?  How much happier would you have been?  Wouldn’t it have been easier to not judge the event, to simply do what you needed to do to survive and be well?  Next time something happens in your life, and you move into judgement, whether good or bad, be like the farmer.  Do what you need to do and leave the judgement elsewhere.  That might be a good time to connect with your Source, Higher Power, God…the One that knows all things, and reaffirm that you are well, no matter what is happening in your world.