Welcome to the Lake Tahoe Spiritual Living Center!

I am smiling as I look at the title of this post, because I can just imagine the questions from my title:  HUH?  What on earth does she mean?

If you’ve been reading my posts the last couple of days, you know that I’m on a roll with quotes from the Integration Conference.  There was so much wisdom there, and my goal is to take a quote for each post and see if I can’t help you apply this wisdom in your life.  Today’s quote comes (I think!  Again, the wisdom was flowing so quickly at times that I did not always have time to write down the person who said the quote) originally from Kenn Gordon, President of what was once the International Centers for Spiritual Living.  Here’s the quote:

“The ceiling is now the floor.”

In context, the quote refers to what was said after our vote, after we took six hours to undo what was done 57 years ago and to integrate the two Centers, United and International.  The ceiling of separation was now the floor of integration, and now we get to build upon that.

What is your personal ceiling?  Do you suffer from lack, limitation, illness?  Or perhaps some trouble in relationship that keeps repeating over and over again?  How could you make that ceiling your floor?  Instead of bumping your head on it, how could you turn it around and make it a firm foundation upon which to stand?

What has occurred in our lives has the potential to be a strong foundation upon which to build a new life.  Two days ago I mentioned another quote, “When you condemn what was, you cannot create what wants to be.”  In condemning our past, we keep ourselves in the problem.  Condemning can look like blame, shame, low self esteem, anger, regret, addiction, lack, anxiety, depression, physical or mental illness.  Condemning  is basing our behavior on things that occurred in the past, without accurately assessing what is going on in the present.  Condemning keeps that ceiling firmly in place, and has the potential to even lower the ceiling.  To move out of the problem, to make that ceiling the floor,  takes a willingness to explore our part in the problem, take responsibility for it without shame, and then move on to a different way of being and acting.  When we do this we have been successful in making our ceiling our floor.

Introspection, work with a coach and daily spiritual practices are sometimes all needed to turn our ceiling into our floor.  And it takes a willingness to see beyond the details and mess, and go above that, to a place where Spirit lives.  Yes, I know Spirit is everywhere, but if you are experiencing some negativity in your life it might behoove you to change the way you view and interact with Spirit.  This is what daily spiritual practices are for.

It may seem like a daunting task, but it is well worth the effort!

We’ve all experienced a loss at some time in our lives.  A loss can be something big, like a divorce or death of a loved one, including pets.  But loss can also be change, even if that change is for the better.  A move to a new city, a change in jobs, a marriage, a birth.  No matter what the loss, it is likely that you will experience what are called stages of grief.  If you want more information on this, a very good source is Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, in her book On death and Dying.  Ross explains that there are five stages of grief:

1.  Denial.  This is usually temporary, and sometimes it is instantaneous; in other words, the denial happens in a split second of disbelief, then the feelings pass into one of the other stages of grief.  Denial is sort of a buffer:  when you receive shocking news, the buffer helps to deal with it better.

2.  Anger.  Anything can be a target for this anger that comes as a part of the grieving process: God is a very popular target, as is the government. In addition, family members sometimes bear the brunt of the rage of a grieving person.

3.  Bargaining.   We think that if only we did things differently, it would change.  Or if we were good, things would change.

4.  Depression.  Sadness is normal with a loss and should not be “stuffed.”  To do so will only create more sadness, along with other symptoms.  There is a saying that depression is anger turned inward, and it has a lot of validity.

5.   Acceptance.  When we begin to accept what has happened, we can then move towards peace.  We can start to smile again, and enjoy life.

It is important to note that the grief process is just that:  a process, and that you must allow yourself to move through the process.  Be gentle with yourself, consider scheduling some sessions with a Practitioner to help you navigate through the process.  Be aware that tears may crop up at the most unexpected times, and allow them.  You may or may not go through all five stages, and the stages may or may not happen in the order listed.  But again, it is imperative that you allow yourself to feel whatever you need in order to move through the process.

During times of recovering from a loss, a connection with Spirit is most helpful.  It helps to know that we are a part of something larger than us, and that all things happen for a reason, even if we don’t yet know what the reason is.  There is incredible strength, power and courage that comes from a connection with the Universe, and this connection will pave the way for us, adding a bit of sweetness to the bitter taste of loss.  And, a connection with Spirit will help with forgiveness, which is many times essential to our moving beyond grief.

If you have experienced a loss lately, I hope that this little primer is helpful to you, and you have my deepest empathy.

Sometimes life can be like a deconstruction zone.  I say DEconstruction, as opposed to construction, because before you can construct, or build something new, you must first deconstruct what exists, in order to make room for the new.

Deconstruction is not fun.

Sometimes it’s forced upon us.  It might look like a partner wanting a divorce, a sudden dismissal from a job, or an accident.

Sometimes we see it coming, and take steps to avoid it, go around it, prevent it from happening, until we realize that really isn’t working so well.

But the bottom line is, if the Great Reality Deep Within is calling for something new in your life, that something new is likely to be preceded by a period of deconstruction.  Your soul knows what is best and it is your Soul that is One with the One, one with Spirit, and Spirit, like our Souls, will not be denied.

Sometimes deconstruction can manifest the most trying of symptoms:  you may feel anxious, to the point of anxiety attack.  You may not be able to sleep, or be sleeping too much.  You might be having some muscle twinges or odd aches and pains.  You might feel as if you are on the verge of insanity, with wide mood swings, going from tears to hysterical laughter to ”normalcy” in the space of an hour.  And you might be crying at all hours of the day, at the most unexpected things and the most inconvenient times.  You are likely to experience fear, depression, sadness, despair, frustration, anger and self pity. 

Really, the deconstruction period  is not very pleasant at all.

However! 

There are some tools you can use to walk through the deconstruction period with dignity and grace.

1.  Get support.  Professional help can be invaluable during the deconstruction period.   Although I might be a bit prejudiced, I happen to believe that Practitioners are great for times like this.  I’ve used my Practitioner during deconstruction periods and I can tell you that it’s been invaluable.  Other professionals like therapists, life coaches and counselors can also be helpful.  Mentors can usually provide a unique form of support that you can find no where else.  And of course, family and friends are a great resource.  In addition, you  might want to think about cluing them in on why you are behaving so oddly.

2.  Spend more time with daily spiritual practices.  If you don’t currently do them, start now.  If you do do them, add more.  If you journal and read spiritual literature, add meditation and visioning. 

3.  Make sure you take care of  your physical self:  eat right and get plenty of exercise.

4.  Don’t make any rash decisions.  Acting on negative feelings will usually just lead us deeper into the problem, instead of into the solution.

5.  Set your intention.  You are in the perfect place during the deconstruction period to set an intention for what you want your future to be. 

6.  Have faith.  If you can’t have it for yourself, have a Practitioner carry that faith for you until you can get there and pick it up.

I can promise you this:  good things are in store for you. Walk through this period with dignity and grace and you will come out of this period  with a sense of peace and joy and things happening in your life that you never knew possible.  Know.   Be Still and Know. 

The Universe is conspiring for your good, even if it doesn’t feel that way right now.  Hang in there, this too will pass into the Sunlight of the Spirit.

No, this is not a post on right as opposed to wrong thinking.  There is no wrong thinking, just thinking that produces results.  If  you aren’t getting the results you want, change the thinking.  But don’t judge it as wrong.

This is what we were talking about last night in the Science of Mind book study (before we broke a little early to go watch Jazz and Poetry at Comma Coffee).  We are in the section on Physical Perfection, and it’s a big section with a lot of goodies.  Last night we read this sentence:   “Right thought, constantly poured into consciousness, will eventually purify it.  Discord might be likened to a bottle of impure water; healing might be  likened to the process of dropping purew water into the bottle, a drop at a time, until the whole is clean and pure.”  And on the next page:  “THINKING SETS CAUSATION IN MOTION!”  And the caps and exclamation points are Ernest’s, not  mine.

The slogan for the United Centers for Spiritual Living is Change your Thinking, Change your Life, and it is this portion of the textbook that addresses that concept, it is the heart of our teaching and our philosophy.

And, like Ernest says, sometimes the thinking has to be done a drop at a time.  I don’t know about  you, but when I have thinking that is producing stuff I don’t much appreciate in my life, I seem to be unable to willy nilly just change it once and have it stay changed.  I have to consciously change my thinking, every day.

I started on this path with the  sole purpose of changing my thinking, because I tend to wake up thinking negative and depressed thoughts.  Of course I’ve  recieved much more than changed thinking, but this post is about changing our thinking, so I’ll stick with that.  Most mornings I wake up grumbling.  I don’t know why, I just do.  I used to wake up that way, and simply became a victim of my thoughts.  Eventually I thought my way into a clinical depression.  I literally could not get out of bed.  It was at that  point that I started to explore ways to feel and live better.  Organized religion is not for me.  I don’t appreciate the judgement, the dogma, and the shame that surrounds it.  But I already had a god in my life, and wanted to deepen that connection.  I started reading books like Conversations with God by Neale Donald Walsch, and books by Deepak Chopra.  Eventually I found myself back home, here, at the Centers for Spiritual Living.  The depression was gone, replaced by a zest for living and a passion for this teaching.  I became a Practitioner after three years of study and now am approaching my first term as a graduate student in Higher Consciousness studies.

I’m  not saying that if you want to change your thinking you need to become a Practitioner or even that you should check out your local Center for Spiritual Living (although if you are looking for a spiritual community, this is where it’s at!).  What I am saying is that it helps, if you are wanting to change your thinking, to have some sort  of god in your life, and it doesn’t have to be a religious god.

So, back to the changing of thinking, one drop at a time.  Daily spiritual practices are, for me, a very powerful way to change my thinking.  The discipline of meditation and reading of spiritual literature has completely changed my life.  In twelve  step programs the eleventh step also encourages one to do daily spiritual practices.  Other ways to change your thinking include affirmations, gratitude, exercise (yes, exercise), eating right.  Probably the most profound way to change your thinking is to affirm and strengthen your connection with whatever-you-want-to-call-god.   It is very difficult to have negative thinking when you have a god in your life!  It’s kind of like fear and faith, or fear and love, god and negativity really don’t go together very well.

And that leads me to another way to change your thinking. One thought at a time, just change it.  When you have a negative thought, thank it for being, then assure it that all is well, and replace that thought with a positive one.  Do that as often as necessary.  Soon, you will find your thinking has taken on a pattern of positive thoughts, as opposed to negative ones.

Happy Thinking!

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I’ve been writing for a while on coaching stuff and it occurred to me recently that I’ve been ignoring the most important part:  the god stuff.  Because really, none of what I’ve said in my daily posts means anything unless one has an integral connection with whatever-you-want-to-call-god.

That connection is all.  It’s really all there is.  Everything else is just fluff.  It’s nice fluff if you have that connection, it’s not so nice (at least in my experience) if you don’t.  Life with the Great Reality Deep Within is wonderous, magical, abundant, miraculous, beautiful, bright.  Life without any sort of spiritual connection is bleak, black, dark, depressing, hopeless. 

I am not talking about religion here either.  I don’t consider myself to be a member of an organized religion.  I am a member of a group called the United Centers for Spiritual Living.  We study a book called the Science of Mind, among a zillion others from a lot of different spiritual paths.  We are one of numerous organizations that can all be lumped under the heading of New Thought.  We practice what is called metaphysics. 

We believe in the power of thought, we believe that god is everywhere present, in each of us, through us, around us.  Indeed, we believe that we were made so that god could experience the physical, and that we were made in the image and likeness of god, and that we have the potential to be as powerful as any other child of god, such as Jesus.

We don’t believe in sin, except that we are humans and make mistakes, and we don’t believe in punishment, except that there are natural consequences for everything thing we do.

We believe in doing spiritual practices daily, and in carrying the consciousness of god with us 24/7.  Spiritual practices are defined as anything that brings us a better connection with the god stuff, and can be things like meditation, visioning, treatment, journaling, reading spiritual literature.  And within each of those categories are many different ways to do them. 

When I work with people as a Practitioner, I help them to strengthen their connection with whatever is their concept of god.  I’ve helped people from all religions.  If they are a bit lost, I help them figure out what their definition of god is.  When I work with people as a coach, we concentrate on the areas in which they wish to make changes.  I add the spiritual component as well, to the degree that the client is comfortable with it.

But I believe that if there is no spiritual component, we are just spinning our wheels.  We’re just doing temporary outside fixes.  I like to go deeper and for the long haul, so I do my spiritual practices every day.

If you feel like perhaps you want to strengthen your connection with a god, or develop your definition of your source of power; or if you think there are areas in  your life that you wish to change, give me a call.  The first session is on me.  530-906-9336

“There is nothing in your life that you cannot modify, change or improve when you learn to regulate your thought.”  That’s a quote by an author named Christian D. Larson, who lived from 1874 to 1954.  The quote is from a book called Your Forces and How to Use Them.  He wrote another book called the Pathway of Roses which is on my list of books to read.

So, let’s just say, for kicks and giggles, that there is a situation in your life which you wish to change.  You can change it if you change your thinking, or as Larson says, regulate your thought.  This is a basic metaphysical law, and this is also what I call going within.  You don’t need any outside gimmicks to do this, just go within and change your thinking.  How do you go about doing that?

There are several handy tools to use to change your thinking.  One is by daily spiritual practices.  These consist of reading  spiritual books, meditating, journaling, or simply taking some quiet time. 

Let’s tackle the reading spiritual books thing first.  I know a lot of folks think there is only one spiritual book but in reality there are zillions of them.  Off the top of my head, I can think of several. The one I quoted here is one, books by authors such as Deepak Chopra, Wayne Dyer, Eckhart Tolle, Julia Cameron, Edward Viljoen….that’s just what I can come up with from memory without doing a search in the book section on Amazon.com.  If you don’t have any spiritual literature, go to the local bookstore and browse the spiritual aisle.  Remember, spiritual is not necessarily religious.  Some bookstores don’t separate the two, but you can buy what you like and leave the rest.  I have found daily meditation books to be very helpful.  Right now I’m reading one by Edway Viljoen, another by Chellie Campbell, and the Science of Mind magazine daily readings.  The dailies I read change from time to time.  Incorporate a tidbit of what you read into your thinking, replace a negative thought with something you’ve read.

Ok, meditation.  Many people make too big a deal of this.  You do not need to “empty your mind” in order to meditate.  Just sitting quietly for 20 minutes is all that is really needed, although you can take it further when you are ready.  There are many different types of meditation and ways to meditate, if you need help, contact me.  When you meditate, go within.  Acknowledge that Force that lives deep within  you, and connect with it.  If you do nothing else, connecting with the Power that lives within will do more towards helping you to change your thinking than anything else.  There is another part of the Larson quote that I shared that I think is appropriate here:

“Our destiny is not mapped out for us by some exterior power, we map it out for ourselves.  What we think and do in the present determines what shall happen to us in the future.”

Journaling is another way to change your thinking.  I used to work with a woman who journaled regularly.  We were working on changing her thinking and she continued to be depressed.  One day it occurred to me to ask her what she journaled about.  She said, “I write my fears and all the bad things I think are happening or going to happen.”  OOPS.  Um, don’t write negative stuff.  The written word is very powerful.  Take what you think is negative in your life and turn it into a positive, then write it.  Or if you can’t do that, make a gratitude list.

Same thing with quiet time.  Don’t let your thoughts run to the negative.  Simply change them.  Replace negative thoughts with positive ones.

There is one more tool that I have devised to change my thinking. I have a conversation with myself, or more accurately, the committee that lives in my head.  It goes something like this, “thank you for sharing, but we don’t think like that anymore.  I know you are fearful, but haven’t I always taken care of you?  Haven’t we always been fine?  Come with me and we will do something positive now.”    It’s like dealing with a little kid, you distract them with something different until they are no longer misbehaving.  Be gentle, that committee in your head is only operating out of fear, don’t beat the poor things up, just distract them.  By the way, an added bonus to this practice is that sooner or later after doing this for a while the committee quiets down.

Affirmation:

Today, I am thinking glorious things!  Beauty, abundance, good health, life in all it’s wonderful richness is like a movie in my head, just waiting to move from the inside to the outside!  All is well.

June 6 is a rather momentus day in my life.  I debated about whether to talk about this on my blog, but signs are telling me that I need to work on letting a bit more of my personal self out there, to let more people see who and what I am, so here goes!  I’m going to tell you a story because it can illustrate how we can learn from the events in our lives, not because I want folks to tell me how sorry they are, or how strong they think I am, or any other of that kind of stuff.  I’m not looking for kudos, I’m trying to pass a message.

Thirteen years ago today all my worldly belongings were packed into the biggest Uhaul they make, plus a bunch more in pickup trucks.  I was moving into the home I live in now.  A week or so before, I had watched my soon to be ex husband move his worldly belongings in another Uhaul, away from our home and off to Reno.  When he drove down the street, I collapsed in the middle of the road.  I was devastated.  All my dreams had shattered, I thought my marriage had been a lie, as my husband told me just before he left that he had never loved me, he only married me because I was his “pipeline to sobriety.”  See, we were both sober alcoholics at the time. (I’m still sober, he’s dead from drugs and alcohol, he died last year.)  But I had this cute little place to move into, and about a half dozen other sober drunks helping me move.  If you’ve never experienced the humor and fellowship of sober drunks at a moving party, you’ve missed out.  Their laughter held me up, just like elephants do when they circle around the weaker one of the pack to hold them up.  They got me moved, making sure my bed was set up and made, so that I would have a place to sleep that night.  My new life was starting.  I still live in this place.  I have a white picket fence.  That’s a big deal to a drunk like me.  People like me don’t normally have white picket fences.  The symbol of a white picket fence is meaningful. It stands for peace and freedom and a normal life.  I didn’t have that till I got sober. 

A week after I moved here, I got the news in the mail, my divorce had become final on this same day, June 6 of 1996. 

I journeyed through life after that.  I am a photographer, I own a studio that does a lot of weddings.  Going to do weddings every Saturday that summer after that was tough.  I would have to find a private place during the reception while the bride and groom were eating to cry a bit and recompose myself to continue with my job.

That first winter here I struggled with a depression so deep I could not get out of bed.  My AA sponsor commanded that I call the doctor when I finally told her what was happening with me. I got help and started to work my way out of that morass.  I learned something:  anger makes one feel powerful in a very powerless situation, but it’s a false sense of power, it doesn’t last long, and it will make you sick.  I went the other way, into forgiveness.  Forgiveness is one of the greatest spiritual tools we have available to us, the freedom we get from it is profound.  I had to do some work to get to forgiveness, in AA we call it inventory work, but I got there and then I was able to make amends to my ex.  After that we became friends and I was deeply saddened by his death.  I was also very priviledged to be able to be there for his two adult children when he died.  This is what recovery and spiritually allows one to do.

Two years later, also on June 6, but in 1998, I got a phone call about 4 am.  My mother had passed away.  I needed to get up and fax permission copies to the mortuary so they could get her body from my aunt’s house.  It was a Saturday, I had two very large weddings that day.  I was relieved my mom had gone on, for she had been in a lot of pain and misery.  I had made my peace with her, and she with me, so there was no regret in her passing, only the normal grief.  But I had two weddings to do.  I was responsible for getting the photos that would last these couples and their families a lifetime.  I had made promises, and I kept them.  I don’t see a lot of good work ethic these days.  I don’t know where I learned that if you make a committment to do a job you keep that committment no matter what, but I consider that a good work ethic and I’m proud of my work ethic.  I pulled out an old technique I had learned from a long ago shrink called shelving.  It means to shelve what emotions you are feeling when something else needs to be done.  I’m very good at that.  I went and made some of the best photos I ever made that day, and no one knew my mother had died that morning. I did almost lose it when the minister for the second wedding showed up.  I had  known him for  years, and  his manner is, well, very ministerial, and I wanted to confide in  him, but I knew if I did I would not be able to stop crying, so I turned away from him when he arrived and resumed my job.

Today it is Saturday.  I have a wedding this afternoon.  A nice older couple who want to get married on the beach.  It may not happen as the weather has been quite strange, cold, rainy.  Yesterday it hailed and snowed on top of the mountain behind my house.  But I spoke with them yesterday and they are excited to get married and have a Plan B and will be happy no matter what happens.  I might still take them to the beach even if they don’t get married there, just so they can have some photos.  I know they want them.

Today I am at peace.  I remember that lady who grieved so for the loss of her marriage, and today I am grateful.  I am grateful for the things my ex taught me.  I am grateful for his place in my life.  I am still sad by the turns he took in his life after we parted.  I wished him  nothing but the best, and he didn’t get it.  But then again, maybe he did.  In this philosophy, metaphysics, we teach that we each choose our own path, the path our soul calls us to travel, because it wants us to learn lessons we could only learn by choosing that path.  Maybe that was the path for him.  I don’t know.  But I am still sad for him.

Today I am grateful for the business of this wedding this afternoon.  I am grateful that this couple chose to allow me into their lives at this intimate time.  I am excited because I am working with a new assistant today, an enthusiastic young man who wants to learn photography.  I plan to teach him, even though one day he will go into direct competition with me.  I have no fear of that, there is no competition in my world and there is enough for all of us.

Today I am at happy.  I planted a garden where there was gravel and junk when I bought this place, and my plants are growing at such a rapid rate that it awes me every spring, how they can grow so fast.  I’m beginning to see buds here and there.  Spring comes late here in the mountains.

Today I am healed.  It was a long road, but today I am able to be in an intimate relationship with another person and share on a level I was not able to share before, with my ex.  I realize now, looking back on it, that we both had deep intimacy fears that prevented us from deepening our relationship.  Perhaps with time we could have, but today I am healed and grateful for the wonderful relationship I have with Monty, who posts on this blog all the time.

Today I am a spiritual healer and counselor.  Guru to some, although I am still somewhat uncomfortable with that.  I look at my life as it was, and compare it to as it is, and shake my head in wonder.  I smile, knowing I paved that road I traveled on, as there was no road there before.  I built it, I paved it and I still travel new roads, making pavement as I go along.  I still go the Road Less Traveled.  Sometimes it gets a bit scary, but mostly I’m just excited about the journey.

Today I want to talk about balance, as I have been lacking balance in my life for a little while now.  Lack of balance in this case has resulted from not enough exercise and not consistently taking my vitamin supplements.  Sometimes lack of balance looks like a feeling of overwhelm, or anxiety, but many times lack of balance looks like depression.  I’ve struggled with depression before, been clinically diagnosed, done the anti depressant route.  I was able to get off antidepressants with help from a specialist who put me on a regime of meditation and amino acids.  I added the exercise in.  While I’ve been pretty consistent with my meditation, that alone is not enough to keep me in balance.  At this time of year, life in Tahoe can sometimes get difficult and if I have not been taking proper care of myself, depression steps in for a visit.  I woke up this morning after a third sleepless night in a row (due to a cold) feeling that old familiar feeling of not wanting to do anything, no excitement for the day ahead, I just wanted to stay in bed.  You might be saying right about now that you would want to stay in bed too if you had had three sleepless nights in a row.  There is a difference between being tired and depression. 

You might also be saying that this isn’t a very positive post, and so far, you would be right.  But I was taught a couple of things by my mentors along the way.  One was to talk about what I was feeling, and two was to never share a problem without also sharing the solution.  I know the solution to this particular problem.

Get back in balance:  heal this cold so that I can get a decent night’s sleep, start exercising again, be more consistent about my supplement regimes, eat better, get outdoors, make sure I meditate every day.  And do daily affirmations to change my attitude.

I read something once where the writer was saying that affirmations were nonsense, they didn’t work.  I felt sorry for her, because I have experienced that affirmations work very well in my life.  This is a time to do my affirmations even if I don’t feel like doing them.  This is a time to get out and about and exercise, even if I don’t feel like it.  This is a time to eat right and take my vitamins, even if I am not hungry.

For I know that I am a vibrant, healthy and active woman.  I know that I am worth feeling good.  I know that I am actually quite happy and peaceful.  I know that I am one with Source, and Source is never depressed.  Source is always vibrant, healthy, active, peaceful and happy.  And so am I.

And so it is.