Welcome to the Lake Tahoe Spiritual Living Center!

When I was in Practitioner school they gave us an assignment: to write about a Dark Night of the Soul in our lives, and how we responded to it.

Have you ever had a Dark Night of the Soul? You know, one of those times where it is so discouraging you either want to give up or lash out in anger? Where nothing seems to go right, sleep doesn’t come, there is no energy for any kind of movement at all, much less exercise that would help, nor is there motivation to eat right. Disappointment in everything reigns. Some Dark Nights of the Soul last a long time, some are more temporary.

None of them is fun.

And yet, I think they serve a purpose. Life has cycles. We humans sometimes don’t realize that our bodies mirror Mother Nature in many ways. If you watch the seasons, there are times when it seems as if everything is dead. It’s gray, no plants are blooming, nothing is growing, it’s cold and dark. Much like a Dark Night of the Soul. Then spring comes, and there is almost frenzied action: plants seem to spring up willy nilly and there is an abundance of growth, color and energy everywhere you look. I don’t know about you, but my Dark Nights have always been followed by great bursts of energy. I’ve been so relieved to be out of them that I can’t do enough.

Yet, would I have had the energy to do all that stuff had I not rested during the Dark time? We don’t expect plants to grow year round with the same energy and pizzazz they exhibit in the spring. It’s only after a rest that they can do that.

Dark Nights of the Soul also offer an opportunity for contemplation, a time when one can survey one’s life. I do not recommend making decisions, nor acting on them, when one is in a Dark Night. Such decisions are rarely based on clear thinking and decisions based on muddy thinking cause trouble in our lives. However, if we can listen to the voice of the Dark Night without indulging in self pity, there is wisdom to be found there.

I think we experience these times because we need to rest, regroup and reassess. I think these times are valuable because they force us to get in touch with a deeper reality. They call it the Dark Night of the Soul because it is your soul calling to you during this time. It is your soul, that Spirit-self within, that is crying out to be heard. It has wisdom to offer, if you will only sit still long enough to listen. And if you don’t, the Dark Night comes, forcing you to do so.

Listen to the calling of your soul. This is the still quiet voice, not the loud abusive ones. There is a difference. That still voice is trying to get a message to you amidst the clamor of the loud voices that tell you bad things about yourself. If you can access that still quiet voice and hear the wisdom it has to offer, you will benefit.

Don’t fight the Dark Night. Instead, take care of yourself as best you can while listening for the wisdom.

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My ears perked up when I recently heard about a scientific study that showed that refusing to apologize resulted in higher self esteem and feelings of empowerment. Here’s the study in case you want to look at it yourself: http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/ejsp.1901/full

My first thought was, “They didn’t go far enough, because those feelings are only temporary.”

I can testify from personal experience that refusing to apologize results in feelings of empowerment, however those feelings were temporary and they made me sick. Many years ago, I found myself in a divorce. I was devastated, on pretty much every level: emotional, spiritual, physical. And I reveled in the “fact” that I was right and he was wrong. I refused to apologize for my part in things, and rode on my righteous anger for quite some time, feeling very powerful.

Until I went to bed and couldn’t get out of bed. For months. I got professional help, and got out of bed, but I still didn’t feel right. It wasn’t until I apologized that I felt whole and complete again.

That process made me realize something: not apologizing does indeed give us a sense of power. However, it is a false sense, it is temporary, and the spiritual coin that it costs is not worth it. Plus, it can make us sick, physically ill.

When I apologized, all the depression, anger and feelings of low self worth combined with a false sense of power (can you say ego maniac with an inferiority complex?) “magically” disappeared, to be replaced by a quiet calm knowing that all was well. I much prefer the quiet calm knowing to all that other stuff.

It was a process to get there, but today I advocate apology as a path to peace. Apology is a powerful spiritual practice that will allow you to release harmful feelings that will make you sick. Apologizing will allow you to be free, and the feelings of empowerment you get from apologizing will be permanent and true.

However, there is a definite process of getting to place where you can be ready to apologize,and do it in such a way that it benefits you. There is, for sure, a wrong way and a right way to apologize. I’ve taught many people this process and I can tell you that, while it is not an easy one, it is very powerful and it works.

Here are some tips to successful apologizing:

1. Know what you are apologizing for. This takes some honest introspection. You may need some coaching to help you with this process.
2. Know that the apology is for you. Their response is none of your business. Again, a coach can be a support mechanism for you.
3. View apology as setting things right, not saying you’re sorry.

Again, apologizing is one of the most powerful things we can do in our lives to allow us to feel at peace.

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Private coaching packages are available, call 530-906-9336 for more information

Tomorrow is Easter Sunday. For some it is a major Christian holiday, for others it’s the beginning of spring. And yet for others it is a signal for personal resurrection.

Resurrection is defined as rising again, as from disuse or decay, or a revival. Spiritually, resurrection means to rise above being dependent on earthly things for our happiness and to instead depend on a connection with spirit for our happiness.

What exactly does that mean, to depend on a connection with spirit for happiness?

Some might say dependence is not a good thing. In fact, some call dependence on spirit a weakness. I used to think like that. But today I know that the presence of spirit in and through me empowers me in ways I never dreamed possible. And I can tell you that it doesn’t feel so much like dependence. Rather, it feels like co-creation. It feels like I have a partner in life.

The word connection is, for me, extremely important. I have never believed in a God in the skies, God as a separate entity. I believe in something I can feel and experience, and that something is a God I am connected with. It lives, moves and has It’s being in, through and as me. We are One. It is in the Oneness that I gain all that empowerment and strength.

And what, exactly, is spirit or God? The cool thing about this is that God is infinite. It is All. So it can be anything we want it to be. This tends to frighten some people and the normal reaction to that fear is to scorn the idea that God can be anything we want it to be. But really, God is truly infinite. This means It has no limitations, It really can be anything we want it to be.

Finally, we come to happiness. Other words could be joy, peace,serenity. I happen to think that life is about being joyful. To make it even simpler, life is about being. Simply being.

So, to rephrase it, your personal resurrection could mean that you are now in a process of co-creation with God as You, to Be Joy.

Be Joy, beginning today!
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There are two states of being: love and fear. I could cite a ton of references to illustrate the truth of this sentence but that is not what my post is about today. It’s only the introduction, the opening statement.

What I really want to talk about today is my gratitude for being able to observe what fear and it’s resulting lack and limitation look like. It was such a clear demonstration that it showed me in no uncertain terms how I did not want to be. It showed me how I did not want to show up in the world. And it put an exclamation point on a decision I had already made, it allowed me to know that my decision was not only a very good one, but a great one. My decision went from a quiet, “yes,” to a very loud, “HELL YES!” It also explained a lot and allowed me to have some comprehension in a situation I didn’t really understand.

I won’t go into the details, because they are irrelevant. What is important here is the example of what a consciousness of fear looks like. It looks like attempts to control other people’s behavior and other situations. It looks like words of criticism and condemnation. It looks like hanging on to old stories just for the sake of being right.

Conversely, here is what love looks like: There is no need to control anything but one’s own thoughts, one’s own reactions, one’s own stuff. There is no need nor wish to criticize or condemn. Instead there is only support. There is a desire to be happy, rather than right.

Fear manifests as lack and limitation in our lives. It manifests as illness, loss, not enoughness. Love manifests as beauty, vibrant health, good.

I don’t know about you, but I’m going for the love. Always the love. I’m feeling and embodying and exemplifying the love, and I am experiencing the beauty that comes from that!

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Private coaching packages are available, call 530-906-9336 for more information

If you are reading this blog, you may or may not know that what I write about here is all New Thought stuff. I just happen to be trained by Centers for Spiritual Living, but the New Thought philosophy is not limited to CSL. As an aside, there is a difference between New Thought and New Age, but that’s not what today’s post is about.

New Thought is a philosophy, a way of life. The belief system is based on Ancient Greek philosophy and was popularized in the late 1800s and early 1900s by a bunch of people who didn’t know each other. Hence today we have a bunch of New Thought organizations such as CSL, Unity, Divine Science.

If you’ve ever considered yourself SBNR (Spiritual But Not Religious) chances are you are a New Thoughter. If you feel like no one else thinks the way you do, take heart. There are people who think the way you do all over the world, and they are gathering in places like Centers for Spiritual Living all over the world.

The reason for today’s post is that this Sunday, March 3, is New Thought Day. The Center for Spiritual Living in Carson City is doing a special presentation about what New Thought is all about. This is your opportunity to discover if perhaps you would like to begin traveling your journey in the company of other like minded people. You don’t have to live in an isolated world of SBNR anymore. Come to the Center on Sunday morning, at 10 am, and check it out! CSLCC is located at 1927 North Carson Street, at the north end of Carson City, in the Frontier Plaza, corner of Winnie Lane and North Carson Street. We will see you there!

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Private coaching packages are available, call 530-906-9336 for more information

Last night in class the topic was our beliefs, and how important they are in the way that they influence what happens in our lives.

This is a fundamental idea in what we teach, and it is a very difficult concept to grasp. I know it was scary for me at first. If my beliefs are what put me in the situation I’m in, then that means I have responsibility for my life. I don’t know about you, but after a life of victimhood having personal responsibility was frightening. But then I realized that have personal responsibility was also very empowering, and I began to embrace “change your thinking, change your life” with all the fervor of a drowning person clutching a life preserver. That profound moment was the beginning of major life changes for me, the beginning of movement from being a victim and embracing victim mentality to being empowered and eliminating limitation in my life.

There is a quote that I’ve seen many times, and it has been attributed to different sources, but this quote is in the class material and does a very good job of illustrating how important beliefs are in the results of our lives:

“Your beliefs become your thoughts
Your thoughts become your words
Your words become your actions
Your actions become your habits
Your habits become your values
Your values become your destiny.”

Private coaching packages are available, call 530-906-9336 for more information

Something within me shifted this morning.

I had a thought.

It was unlike most of the other thoughts that typically run through my mind.

This thought came unbidden, freely and uncoerced, like a bird flying past my range of vision. It was beautiful and full of color and relief and calm certainty. It was not the frantic cluster of thoughts that usually pass this way.

Those thoughts that say, “you must do more.” Or, “maybe if you tried this it would work better.” Or, “there is something wrong with you.” Or, “you are not enough.”

This thought said: “You do enough. You don’t need to do anymore. You don’t need to be anymore than you are. You are enough. It’s ok.”

And I paused in my reflections to ponder upon that thought, because while I’ve intellectually known this for a while, while this has been a goal in the spiritual work that I do every day, I’ve never, until now, felt this truth, and I’ve never, until now, simply had such a positive thought come unbidden into my mind.

There is healing occurring in me, and I am so thankful.
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Private coaching packages are available, call 530-906-9336 for more information

I woke up this morning, and after doing my spiritual practices, I checked in with the world to discover that the Pope has resigned.

My first thought was, “I didn’t know he could do that.” And I moved on, investigating other tidbits of news and checking in on Facebook. After all, I’m not Catholic, this doesn’t affect me. But one of my friends on Facebook who is Catholic was talking about her reaction to the news and I realized that a huge segment of the world has just lost it’s spiritual leader. And then I remembered a meditation I had just published: That our personal spiritual growth does indeed have the power to change the world. And then I remembered how I look up to my spiritual leaders, and how things would change if they went away. And then I remembered how many people are Catholic, and how much importance and weight that carries in their individual lives. And it occurred to me that the Pope resigning does indeed have far reaching effects to all of us. For me, it made me think about what would happen in my community if my spiritual leader left. It also made me think about how I will structure my own community when I graduate and become a spiritual leader.

Part of our training has been to teach us about spiritual leadership. About leading, but not so much that the community falls apart if we go. We are about empowering our flock, not making them dependent on us. We lead, we don’t control. If the leader has taken the time to nurture and empower the members of the community, then the community survives and goes on to recruit a new leader. Just like companies, when the leadership changes, so does everything else. New people come on board, while others leave. But the bottom line is change, and most of us do not deal well with change. We fear it, because most of us don’t like uncertainty. We don’t like not knowing what will happen. And we do odd things when we are in fear. We make poor decisions when we are in fear. That’s why it behooves us to continue to do our spiritual practices, because that helps with the fear factor. Which brings me back to personal spiritual practices. It’s all related.

So the Pope has resigned. I read his resignation letter. I was impressed by the spiritual language. In a Los Angeles times article, he was quoted, “I am well aware that this ministry, due to its essential spiritual nature, must be carried out not only with words and deeds, but no less with prayer and suffering,” Benedict said.

While in New Thought we don’t teach that suffering is a necessary component of anything, we do teach that prayer is, along with the action of the words and deeds. The Pope, in his letter, said he “repeatedly examined my conscience before God,” which means he went within first, before taking action.

This is the essence of spirituality: we go within first, then we take action.

If I lost a spiritual leader, I know what I would do. I’d go within and connect with that profound and peaceful part of me that Knows. And then I would do anything I could to support myself during a time of turbulence, and then I would support my community. This is a time of turbulence for the Catholic Church. This is a time to go within and support yourself first, then support your spiritual community.

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Private coaching packages are available, call 530-906-9336 for more information

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Join our meditation/discussion group on Monday nights from 5 to 7 pm. Call 530-906-9336 for more information.

Private coaching packages are available, call 530-906-9336 for more information

I live on an 80 acre horse ranch in rural Nevada.

I live with about 30 horses, a dog and two cats of my own, plus three or four barn cats, and currently a couple of owls. People come and go during the day: horse trainers and riders, more horses, lots of dogs. There is a lot of fun activity here: learning and living full on active lifestyles. These folks don’t talk much about dieting, or needing to exercise more. They don’t seem to have many health problems. They don’t go to church, but I’ve introduced many of them to the joys of meditation.

Some of my friends think I’m crazy. Well, they thought that before, but now they know for sure. Some of my friends are worried about me, living out here in the middle of nowhere.

I’m in heaven. I get to ride every day. I know the names of every horse here, and I know which ones like to be petted on their forehead and which ones like their shoulder scratched. I know which ones like hugging, and which ones don’t. Yesterday I went on a trail ride on one horse, then came back and saddled up another and jumped….four times. The other day I learned to drive a tractor.

I still go to work in my photography studio 20 miles away in Lake Tahoe, and I still see my coaching clients at both the Lake Tahoe Center and the Carson City Center, and I still teach at both Centers. But in between times I’m at the ranch, studying and riding.

So how did I get here? Better yet, how can you live in your version of heaven, whatever that may be?

1. Don’t judge the circumstances of your life. This ancient Buddhist concept has helped me more times than I can count. If I judge something as bad, I’ve just made myself a victim. If I judge something as good, I’m attached to it and attachment creates its own set of problems. I admit it, I was judging the circumstances that led me here. I had some grief work to do, and I had to remind myself of my faith and my truth. Such work, by the way, is best done with support, and I have a lot of support. That’s what coaches and mentors are for. If you don’t have support, get some. The cost is priceless.

2. Be aware of your values. Is it more important for you to live the American Dream, with a house and a white picket fence? Or is something else more important? Explore, go within, and figure out what your values are. Then live from those values. I once thought it was important to live the American Dream. I actually had a house with a white picket fence. That fence was one of the reasons I bought the house! The symbolism was not lost on me, a street urchin who never had any stability in her life. That white picket fence helped me to stabilize my own life, until my values changed and I realized I needed the white picket fence no more.

3. Do not shame yourself. Do not, under any circumstances, should on yourself. You are not a bad or worthless person, you are not less than, and you deserve all the good that life has to offer. This has been a long journey for me and I still sometimes descend into that shaming, less than place once in a while. The other day my trainer told me, “you are a better rider than you think you are, just remember what an awesome rider you are and you’ll be fine.” This from a 22 year old! How come I didn’t know that when I was 22?!?!? Wisdom comes from a lot of avenues for me. Again, this is what mentors and coaches are for, and yes, horse trainers too.

4. Remember the Law of Attraction. This is the foundation of what New Thought is all about. What you think manifests in your life. One of the trainers said to me the other day, “don’t think like that. If you think like that it will happen.” I asked her if she had been reading my stuff, she said no, it was just common sense. Surprisingly, it isn’t common sense to a lot of folks, but it is a law, and what you think does manifest. This is the beauty of New Thought, and also the major thing which keeps people away from us: they don’t want to be told they are the creators of their lives. I can remember the first time I internalized this concept. All of a sudden I knew at a gut level that I had power, that I created what was going on in my life (which wasn’t very pretty), and I had responsibility. But with that responsibility came an awesome feeling of empowerment that has never gone away. It’s the empowerment I like. The other piece of this law is that there are tools you can use to retrain your thinking, and this is what we teach at Centers for Spiritual Living around the world.

5. Don’t limit yourself. Don’t think you have to have a day job that you hate just to pay the bills. I saw a video this morning narrated by Alan Watts, a great Buddhist teacher. It was an incredible teaching about doing what you love for a living. This is one of those things I’ve always known somehow. People used to tell me, when I was growing up, that I couldn’t make any money doing the things I was considering. And my response was, so? Here’s another law: do what you love, the money will follow. It’s been proven to me over and over. In fact, I have designed and now teach a workshop called “Do What you Love for a Living.’

6. Last but not least: get spiritual. I don’t care how you do it. I don’t care whether you meditate, or journal, or ride horses, or count your chakras and color them in, or rest your beliefs on quantum physics and philosophy, but do it. For it is the spiritual piece that will support all of the rest of it. It’s not about believing in God necessarily, it’s about believing in yourself as a manifestation of Spirit, and knowing your truth and your power. It’s about allowing your light to shine full and bright, no matter what! That is spirituality and if you have spirituality in your life you can’t go wrong.

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Private coaching packages are available, call 530-906-9336 for more information

There’s a phrase making the rounds called “livin’ the dream.” Many of my friends respond with this when I ask them how they are doing.

Some people seem to be able to just….live their dream, seemingly with little or no effort. Me, I need spiritual practices to live my dream. Journaling, reading, workshops, classes, meditation, introspection. Now these practices are a regular part of my daily life, and I teach others about them.

Are you living the dream? What is your dream? Metaphysical law says that you can’t live your dream unless you know what it is. This is the reason for advocating spiritual practices such as journaling. Journaling helps to clarify your desires and needs, and yes, your dreams. The written word is very powerful as well, writing acts as a catalyst of sorts. It connects you in a deep way with the Source within, where all movement in our lives begins.

I advocate reading something helpful daily. Those daily meditation readers are my favorites, but there is also a plethora of great books out there.

Meditation is the granddaddy of all spiritual practices. If you do nothing else for your spiritual life, meditation will work quite nicely. There are also many documented physical benefits to meditating.

Find a Center For Spiritual Living in your area and sign up for a class or a workshop. And let me know about how you are living your dream!
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www.csllt.org for classes and workshops in the Lake Tahoe area

Private coaching packages are available, call 530-906-9336 for more information.